Women: know only that we hate you

The BBC reports today that when it comes to celebrity hatred, we seem to spit disproportionate levels of bile at the fairer sex. Topping the list of celebrities we detest is, of course, Heather Mills. Which, given that she has single-handedly vanquished a lawyer (and a female lawyer at that!) shows that we really must have other good reasons to hate her.

Only one man hits the top 5, Simon Cowell, and Glitterditch is here to tell you that Mr Cowell is something of a Marmite man anyway. Whilst those of a sane persuasion may legitimately want to take a mic stand to his face, there are more than enough Mums and narcissistic ambiguously camp men who’d defend him.

So why do we hate women?

Who knows? Glitterditch is here to provide spurious ramblings rather than scientific answers. But our theory is that it just seems like women have a hell of a lot more to get wrong. A male celebrity will, generally, only push our rage buttons if he commits one of a short list of crimes: murder, paedophilia, lying, being a bit gay or taking part in a cocaine-fuelled hooker orgy while his wife is left holding the baby.

Women, on the other hand – where do we start? Women can be too tall or too hairy, too mannish or opinionated. They can cry in public, name their kids stupid things, or look dodgy in some photos. They can shave their heads, get tattoos, and generally partake in any behaviour that might be considered a bit slutty. Oooh, and let’s not forget of course, the capital offence of enjoying a good pie.

There is no conclusion whatsoever to this article, which might make you angry. But given that most Glitterditch writers have earrings and ovaries, we expect you to hate us anyway.

Written by Nikki on 16 May 2008 1:43 PM. Permalink